Bloopers and Outtakes!
by Burakku's Shadow
Summary: You thought Trapped in Wishes was amusing? Prepare to read some bloopers and outtakes we pulled from the production! We guarantee you’ll laugh ‘till it hurts, or your money back!
1. From the Epilogue

**Summary:** You thought _Trapped in Wishes_ was amusing? Prepare to read some bloopers we pulled from the production! We guarantee you'll laugh 'till it hurts, or your money back!

_From the Epilogue_

"You will understand soon enough." Picking up the lamp, Father slowly began to walk away from the table, motioning toward it. "It's time for the lesson to start. Sit on the table." Nodding at the instant obedience from his youngest child, he raised the lamp with an extended arm, the spout pointing directly at Envy's chest.

The unfortunate boy looked around the room in a panic as the circles lit up with a blue glow, eyes wide. "Father…!?" Slit-like pupils shrank further 'till they weren't hardly noticeable when bright blue bracelet-like fabric appeared on his wrists and a darker blue material similar to a sash appeared around his waist, a sudden wind beginning to pull him toward the lamp. "Father!" In a matter of seconds, Envy had vanished into the depths of the lamp…but, by some sort of accident, the father had been pulled into the lamp, as well.

"What the…?" the blonde man asked slowly, frowning suspiciously at the uncomfortably cramped space.

"Does that mean we're both genies, now?" Envy enquired curiously, raising an eyebrow at his father. He tried inching away when a dark look overcame the older male's face.

"This isn't what's supposed to happen at all," he growled, looking around the tiny space.

Suddenly, blatantly pointing out the obvious, the young boy exclaimed, "Father, look! The lamp's full of pudding! Things can't be that bad now, right?" He smiled sheepishly, vainly trying to make the situation lighter. It instantly vanished when the other growled:

"This isn't funny!" Glaring at a tiny hole that signified the possible opening to the lamp, he yelled at it, "I want out!" The poor boy shrank back as much as he could when Father started hitting the walls of the lamp. "Get me out of here!"

"Oh my, this isn't good at all," muttered a dark-haired girl with dark-brown eyes, looking at the lamp her partner held with worry. "How are we going to get them out?"

The other teenage girl, who had lighter-brown hair and slate-colored eyes, smiled as she exclaimed, "Why, we rub the lamp, of course!" She then started rubbing the lamp, which instantly released the two homunculi.

Father looked rather unhappy while Envy was still just trying to lighten the situation, however horrible his attempts were.

"See, we're both genies!"

The oldest in the room tightened the muscles in his hands, though didn't turn them into fists. "I don't like this…there's only supposed to be one genie. How do you expect to fix this?" he asked, giving pointed glares at the two girls.

"Excellent question," the girl still holding the lamp thought aloud, looking over at her partner. "Star, you got any ideas?"

"Well…" the girl addressed as Star started, giving everyone a thoughtful glance. "Since Ninja's the one who rubbed the lamp, she gets the wishes…why don't you wish Father free and get on with the story?"

"But…" Ninja looked down at the lamp with a slight pout, then gave Envy a somewhat sad glance before sharply turning back to the other brunette. "We're not supposed to take part in this story…only direct it and put it up on FanFiction for people to read. We're gonna hafta restart the scene…"

"Good point…" The darker-haired girl waved, giving the patiently waiting males a small smile. "Alright, you do as Ninja-kun tells you."

Raising a finger, the shorter of the females exclaimed, "I wish you were both free from the lamp!" Smiling in satisfaction as the bracelets on the males' wrists turned to bluish dust, she returned to her seat in the corner of the room. "Places, everyone, and we're taking it from the top!"

**A/N:** Okay, end of the first chapter (BTW, we're doing our bloopers in the order they occurred by chapter). And although we do have some pretty silly ideas for the next couple of chapters, we'd like some participation…if you can think of something funny we could do with a certain scene (chapter doesn't matter), we'd appreciate you sharing. And who knows, we just might use that idea! So get those juices flowing and get some ideas going, 'kay? R&R please!!


	2. From Chapter 1: Master Edward

**A/N:** OMG, we're _sooo_ sorry this took so long to get up! I promise I'll do my part to stay on task next time!! Hopefully you'll all like this chap :P

_From Chapter 1; Master Edward_

–_**at the library –**_

Gloved hands brushed against the spines of the books until the fingertips brushed against something that didn't feel like anything on a book.

"Huh?" The boy attached to the hand, gold eyes narrowed in suspicion, decided to grab the strange item and began pulling. But instead of the thing coming out smoothly like he had expected it to, it stuck at the top of the bookcase. "C'mon, get out already…!" Frowning, he turned toward two nearby girls (who were busy either watching him or writing in a notebook) and called, "Hey Star? Ninja? The lamp's not comin' out!"

"Hey hey," the girl with the notebook, who had light brown hair and slate-colored eyes, began with a small smile. "You're not supposed to talk with the authors. Just pull harder, it'll come out!" The other girl, who had dark brown hair and dark brown (almost onyx) eyes, giggled slightly.

Giving them both a suspicious look, he began pulling harder. This time, he got the lamp to come out…but the bookcase came tumbling down on top of him. Giving a startled cry before being covered, he attempted to leap to the side only to get his legs caught and the books covered him to his neck. He glared at the girls who were now giggling hysterically at his misfortune. "What're you laughing at!?"

Appearing behind him on the other side of the bookcase was Envy, who was putting an effort into keeping his giggling silent. "That's a good look for you, Ed…hey, girls? Can we keep this shot?" he grinned gleefully, pointing at the blonde buried in books.

The girls looked at each other. "Naw," the shorter one responded, waving a hand. "We'll keep this in the outtakes." Both females smirked when the dark-clothed male groaned whiningly, shrugging as the taller prepared to reset the bookcase.

"What're you complaining about, Envy? And aren't you supposed to be in the lamp?"

"Ed has a point, there," the lighter-clothed female supported, leaning against the newly-set bookshelf. "Ninja, you're the only one Envy'll obey. Can you do something?"

The slate-eyed girl, now addressed as Ninja, slowly began to grin with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. "Oh, Envy…!"

Amethyst eyes widening, Envy almost instantly dove into the lamp, obviously not wanting to get involved in whatever the black-clad female's ideas were.

"Alright," the last female, presumably the one called Star, began to instruct, walking back over to where Ninja stood. "Places, and…action!"

Leaning against the slightly taller female, Ninja whispered, "Let's hope they get it right this time."

–_**at Ed's apartment –**_

Envy shook Ed's shoulders harder, this time more determined to get the other to wake up. "C'mon, get up already!"

"I'll be up in a bit…" the blonde responded groggily, waving almost feebly. "Can you fix me some breakfast?"

"I'm not your servant."

"Then here's my first wish…I wish you were my servant." Apparently hearing the all-too-loud _poof!_ from the other male, the younger opened one eye to see what had happened and was instantly in a fit of giggles.

Envy stood there, a large scowl adorning his face, with a black-and-white maid's uniform clothing his being. "You'd better not laugh," he growled threateningly, scowl deepening as if to somehow enforce some sort of warning.

"Okay, okay," the blonde said amongst his slowly diminishing giggles, sitting up and preparing to get out of the bed. "I'm sorry…!" He ran out the room past the two directors, laughing hysterically when he was out of sight.

Star and Ninja, the ever-helpful story directors they were, were also giggling pathetically at the homunculus' expense. They tried silencing themselves when they heard a low growl coming from the unfortunate genie actor.

"You'd better not leave this in the story!" Envy yelled, hand raised in a tight fist and hateful scowl enforcing the threat.

"Oh, don't worry," Ninja started, waving as if to simultaneously calm the genie and swipe away her own giggles. "We're not adding this."

"Ed won't be able to concentrate with you wearing that, anyway," Star supported, motioning to the door with her thumb as a reference to the hysterical laughter that could still be heard from out in the hallway.

The laughing had begun to die down about this time, and Ed slowly walked into the room, wiping a tear from his eye. He was still giggling, but was obviously much calmer than earlier.

"You done laughing now?" the dark-haired male demanded, folding his arms and tapping a foot.

The blonde took one look at him and was instantly back in a fit of hysterical guffawing, clutching his stomach as he doubled over. "You look…so…ridiculous!" he managed to wheeze through his laughter, beginning to lose his breath.

"That's it!" The temperamental male tore off the maiden's outfit and threw each piece of material onto the ground, his being radiating loathing hate. "I –!"

"You can't quit now!" Ninja interjected, raising her hands in alarm. "The first chapter's not even finished!"

"And besides," Star began, looking toward the area of the room where all the clothes were lined up, "That was the only maiden's outfit we had."

Envy sighed, straightening up and folding his arms again. "…fine."

"Okay…places, everyone! And Ed," the lighter-haired female gave the blonde a slightly worried look, "You really need to calm down, it wasn't that funny…"

Ed closed his eyes, this time seeming to be putting some effort into calming himself down. "Okay…okay, I'm alright." Taking a deep breath, he started heading back toward his place but paused about partway, a mischievous grin coming to his lips. "Oh, Envy…!"

Giving an agitated sigh, the genie actor rolled his eyes toward the shorter male. "What?" he asked with a small sigh, turning slightly and placing a hand on his hip. He frowned subtly when he noticed the grin.

"You know, we may not have another maiden's outfit…but we do have something else!"

A worried frown replaced his suspicious one, obviously not liking where this was going but asking nonetheless. "What's that?"

"This!" exclaimed the alchemy actor, pulling out a dress that basically looked like the trunk of a palm tree. He almost started giggling again when the other male started gawking at it.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me…nuh-uh, I'm not wearing that!" the homunculus announced, folding his arms in defiance.

"Aw, come on!" Ed started in a somewhat whiney voice, making his eyes bigger to make them look like puppy-dog eyes. "It'll make you look more like a palm tree…!"

Frowning deeply at the blonde, Envy slowly turned his gaze over to the two girls who were now busy talking amongst themselves, a small smirk materializing onto his lips as he started walking toward them. "Hey, you two are girls," he started, almost grinning when he had the girls' full attentions. "Why don't one of you wear it?" He pointed toward the dress the human boy was still holding.

"I'm not wearing a dress…" Star answered, giving him a small frown that was hardly noticeable.

Ninja just glared rather loathefully at the dress, onyx eyes flashing subtly. "I'm not wearing anything that girly," she growled, giving a small huff before turning her eyes back to Envy.

"No, Envy," the shorter male slurred playfully, wagging a finger and smiling once he had regained the older male's attention. "This dress was made just for you."

"Uh…" The genie actor started looking around, taking note of how the room was structured. "See ya!" he exclaimed suddenly, sprinting to the far side of the room farthest away from the blonde human.

"Hey!" Ed responded in slight surprise, beginning to run after his target. "Get back here!"

The shorter female watched solemnly for a second before yelling authoritatively, "Hey, both of you –stop running right now!"

The tallest character in the room skidded to a stop just before the chief director, staring at her as if he were gawking (minus the mouth hanging open). "B-But," he started with a stutter, pointing toward the second-shortest in the room, "He's trying to make me wear a dress!"

While Envy was preoccupied, Ed easily caught up to him. "Caught you!" he exclaimed gleefully, grinning widely.

The unfortunate genie actor gave a rather girlish screech as he fell to the floor, being tackled by the smaller forcefully. "Gagh, no!" Although he started struggling like mad, the other male managed to slip the dress onto the taller being.

Having accomplished his task, he clambered off the homunculus and stared at him.

Standing up and looking at himself with disgust, he growled with a threatening glare, "Don't…laugh…!" Despite this, both girls started giggling insanely, which made his scowl deepen.

The shorter blonde pointed at the older male and chuckled, "See? Now you definitely look like a palm tree!"

Envy now looked furious, hands clenched into fists and amethyst eyes shooting fire. "GAGH!!" he roared, tearing off the dress and tearing it into tiny little pieces.

"Well, that's two dresses he's ripped up now…" Star commented quietly, watching as each piece slowly floated to the floor.

Ninja sighed, getting into a peculiar stance that radiated impatience. "Alright, Ed, no more trying to make Envy wear dresses, got it? It's not funny anymore." She gave the slightly taller blonde a stern look before finishing. "Now back to your places." The girls then proceeded to go back to their original places off the set.

"Oh, fine…" Ed grumbled, trudging back to his proper place while Envy continued seething hatefully. It took awhile for the homunculus to calm down enough to resume his part, and even then he wasn't all that calm about his lines.

**A/N 2:** Yeah, I know, we're evil to the two stars XP Again, if you guys can come up with any ideas for what we could play around with from any of the chapters, just let us know!! R&R please!


	3. From Chapter 2: Attack of the Fangirls

**A/N:** And we're back! Yay! –waves FMA flag- Now here we're gonna have two actual bloopers (like what you see at the end of movies) plus one thing that's very much like what we've had in earlier chapters. Hopefully, you guys will still find it amusing.

On with the show…!

_From Chapter 3; Attack of the Fangirls_

Edward was preparing to turn a corner near a very specific house (slate-gray roof tiles, white walls, nothing special) when abruptly the front door swung open. Gold eyes widened in horror as the screams of crazed fangirls reached his ears and he instantly started running away from the house as fast as he could.

Gold eyes wide, they searched the streets for an outlet, an escape from the rabid fangirls hot on his heels. Sadly, they failed to notice a raise in the concrete underfoot, and found himself stumbling and falling flat on his face. He had only a split-second to recover before the girls dog-piled on him, making it difficult for him to breathe much less escape.

"Star!" the blonde alchemist gasped, desperately reaching toward the directors who weren't too far off. "Ninja! Help…!"

Ninja sighed, tilting her head forward slightly. "Cut!" she ordered, waving for Star to go over to the unfortunate boy. "Get 'em off of him."

"Right." The darker-haired brunette quickly trudged over, waving her arms in a shoo-ing fashion. "Get off, give the guy some air!"

Envy, having heard the commotion, came out of the lamp. Amethyst eyes widened and a broad grin spread out on his face when he saw the girls just barely begin to clamber off of the poor human. "Wow, Pipsqueak…did you have a fall?"

Gold eyes made contact with amethyst ones, flaring with roaring hate. "Shut the hell up," Ed growled, standing up and brushing himself off after making it to his feet.

"Ed does…sorta, have a point," the darker-clothed girl stated, raising her mechanical pencil and tapping her lower lip thoughtfully. "You really shouldn't tease him that much. You'll have plenty of opportunities during the rest of the story, anyway, so don't go running low on humor quite yet."

The genie actor pouted slightly, giving the shorter male a very slight frown.

"Let's take it from the top," Star started with a small smile, raising a finger above her head as if pointing to the sky. "This time, let's see if we can get this scene right!"

Looking down, slate eyes narrowed slightly when they noticed the raise in which Ed had stumbled over. "First…let's see if we can't do something about this…"

So, after hiring some men to add some more concrete to the scene to "mask" the raise, everyone returned to their places and prepared to redo the scene.

–_**a little later –**_

Suddenly, the fangirls appeared behind him, hearts for eyes and…well, hearts flying everywhere they went. "We love you, Envy!" they all screamed, reaching out toward the unfortunate genie. One of them yelled "I'm getting a palm tree and naming it after you!"

"Not that palm tree joke again…!" Sucking in as much air as he could into his lungs, he sprinted down the street, obviously faster than the humans chasing him. But as he approached the alchemist's location, he too lost track of where his feet were landing and found himself falling into darkness…and landing in water with concrete bricks underneath.

At the top of the manhole, the fangirls stopped abruptly and looked down with wide eyes, some of them gaping. "Envy! Are you okay?" several asked at the same time, a girl or two leaning forward to see the object of their obsession a little better.

Envy slowly got to his hands and knees, raising a hand to wipe some of the slimy water off his face. "Grr…" Crawling forward a little ways, he frowned slightly when his hands felt something bumpy and leathery to the touch. "Eh?" Amethyst eyes widened when they fell on the head of a reptilian beast, yellow eyes staring hungrily at him and white teeth bared. "Oh, shit…!"

The girls shrieked in alarm and terror as their favorite homunculus was caught in a fight with a sewer crocodile, a large majority of them leaping back and running toward the two nearby producers.

"Envy-chan's in trouble!" they all screamed, a good handful shaking the producers with hysterical expressions.

Star and Ninja shared a slightly worried glance before dashing simultaneously over to the crowd of girls.

"Outta our way!" the shorter of the directors demanded, lightly shoving each girl out of her way until she was standing just before the manhole, both her and her companion watching Envy struggling to hold the croc's jaws open.

"Keep going, Envy!" The darker-haired brunette leaned over a little, cupping her hands around her mouth so she could be better heard. "I think you're winning!"

"Shut the hell up!" Although his voice echoed in the tunnel, he could still be heard clearly by the by-standers above him…and it sounded like he was really straining himself from letting his grip on the croc's jaws from slipping.

The darker-clothed female seemed to take particular note of this, slate eyes narrowing slightly and giving her rather contemplative look a worried tone. "Damn, the lamp's too far away. His oxygen intake's too low… Eh?" Both girls (minus all the fangirls, who had all disappeared by now) looked a little farther down from where they could see, both of them squinting into the darkness. "No, that can't be him…"

"Never fear, my son," came a rather booming man's voice, a white-robed, blonde-haired man stepping out from the shadows and walking up the croc's tail as if it were a catwalk. "Your father is here!"

Star and Ninja stared, looking like they were thinking there was something wrong with Father. "So…cheesy…" they mumbled at the same time, though the lighter-clothed girl smirked after a few seconds.

"He's been reading too many manga's," she whispered to the shorter female, smirking a little wider.

"Psh, no kidding…" the lighter-haired brunette rolled slate eyes before resuming her watch of the somewhat badly planned heroic scene below.

Amethyst eyes hardened, jaws set almost to grinding. "Are ya gonna help me or not!?" he growled, shifting his position to make it easier to hold the reptilian beast's jaws open.

Walking along the croc's back, Father exclaimed in a fake heroic tone, "Of course I'll help you!" Reaching the neck, he kicked the back of the head, leapt off the creature's body, grabbed its tail and threw the massive monster's body against one of the walls. "And the father is victorious!"

Standing up and brushing slime off of himself, Envy watched his father with a rather strange look. "You've been reading those American comics again, haven't you?"

"Hah," came Ed's voice from above, though because no one had noticed him coming the two girls nearly jumped out of their skins. "I could've done a better job of beating that thing's butt. Really pathetic display, there, Father."

The genie actor glared up at the sneering face of his opposition at first, but it quickly dissolved into a mocking grin. "I'd love to see you try, little boy who's too afraid to come down and get dirty!" It was quickly wiped off his face when the croc twirled back around and tried taking another bite out of him. "Ack!"

Father was about to try attacking the scaly beast again except it whacked him with its massive tail before he came too close to the head where his son was being attacked. In not even a second, he was knocked out cold.

Star and Ninja stared hard at each other with similar face expressions. "This is what happens when he let an old man get ahold of too much sugar," they muttered in unison, quickly looking back down the manhole where their star actor was once again under attack.

Trying to hold the jaws open once again, this time preventing a bite around his mid-section instead of his head, amethyst eyes turned up pleadingly toward angry, wrathful gold ones. "Hey, I little help here? Please!?"

"He said 'please'," the darker-clothed female stated in a rather droned tone, turning slate eyes toward the red-cloaked actor.

Ed snorted, snarling slightly with a cold frown on his face. "He also called me a coward. I refuse to help someone who would dare insult me in such a way."

At this remark Envy scowled up at him darkly, giving him his own venomous scowl. "If you're too scared to come down here and fight, then go back to the apartment and drink your damn coffee!"

"GAGH!" the temperamental alchemist yowled, both hands clenched into fists in front of him and eyes shooting daggers. "That's it!!" Leaping down the manhole and landing directly on the croc's shoulder, he punched it in the eye and pulled back the beast's head, allowing the genie actor to escape. Slamming its snout against the wall, the human Pipsqueak leapt off, grabbed it by the tail, and started tossing it back and forth against the walls until the creature was evidently dead. Pausing long enough to catch his breath, he heaved the croc over toward Envy with a growl, smirking slightly when it landed directly on top of his opponent. "Now what were you saying about me being a coward?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The poor genie seemed more frightened by the fact the blonde boy was only walking closer, what with himself being underneath a dead croc and unable to defend himself from an attack. "Really, I'm sorry!"

The only human currently in the sewers gave a wicked smirk. "Really, now?" Returning to his dark scowl, he pointed down at the floor. "Beg properly. On your knees!"

The other male gave him a subtle frown. "How can I get on my knees when I have a rotting carcass on top of me?" he asked dully, pointing at the croc laying on his being.

"Oh." Once again flinging the dead creature away, he started tapping his foot. "Get up." He watched the other stand up. "Now on your knees," he commanded, again pointing down at the ground. When Envy only stood there, Ed ground his teeth and clenched his fists. "I said…on your knees!"

Flinching, the genie actor got down on his knees with an uncomfortable, uncertain expression on his face. "I'm sorry for calling you a coward, really! Don't kill me like you did that crocodile…!"

Ed just beamed down at him. "Good boy!" Looking up at the two directors with an excited gleam in his eyes, he asked, "Hey, can we keep this shot?" His jaw dropped when they both shook their heads. "What!? But-But I got him to beg! On his _knees_! Why can't we keep this in the story!?"

"Because," Star started with a small sigh, pouting slightly. "Envy wasn't supposed to fall down the manhole to begin with."

"We can't keep any of the scenes from there on out," Ninja finished, looking between her position outside the manhole and the floor toward the bottom of the sewer. Shrugging, she climbed down the ladder and stopped not too far from where the homunculus was. Her partner quickly followed suit.

Giving a quick pout, the red-cloaked boy stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and started walking off. "Man, all of that for nothing…"

Almost the instant the shorter female was at the bottom of the latter, she found herself and Star in the embrace of the very homunculus who was earlier being bullied. "Eh?"

"Thank you, thank you!" Envy paused in his hugging the girls, then abruptly let go. Giving them a stern look, he said in a low voice so that Ed wouldn't hear, "Don't expect that again anytime soon." He shook his head subtly when they looked at each other with broad grins and began to climb the ladder. "Are we gonna finish this chapter or what?"

"Yeah…" With a small giggle and a faint blush on her cheeks, Ninja followed the dark-haired male up the ladder and out through the manhole. Toward the top, she turned down toward Star and whispered in a gleeful tone, "He hugged us, he really hugged us…!"

–_**a little while later –**_

Turning two more corners, Envy skidded to a stop and glared savagely at the boy leaning coolly against the fence. "You…!"

"What?" Ed asked calmly, smiling at the fuming genie. "Like you said, it's…uh…" His expression fell before turning toward the directors. "What was my line again?"

"It's not that bad," whispered Ninja to the actor while Star was trying hard not to bust up giggling. Leaning toward her partner and dropping her tone even lower, she asked, "How could he forget a line so simple…?"

"Who knows," the slightly taller girl whispered back, smirking toward the boys on the set. "But it's sorta amusing, right?"

The dark-clothed girl shrugged, surrendering a slight smirk. "Sure, I guess it is." She dropped the expression and a slight frown settled onto her features as she thought out loud, "But we need something funnier, lots funnier…"

**A/N:** You heard what I said in the chapter XD We need more funny ideas (and, sadly, the way I wrote this chapter made it that much less funny, in my opinion), so if you guys have any ideas, please (and we mean _please_) give us more ideas!! R&R please


	4. From Chapter 3: Curses and Blessings

**A/N:** OMFG, I'm so sorry this is coming in so damn late! And I say "I" instead of "we" because I lost internet at home and had no way to update otherwise (damn hectic schedule that doesn't allow for computer time outside of home). More blame on me for getting myself obsessed with Law of Talos besides… And Star's not to blame for this…at all.

But hopefully you guys will like this chapter! ON WITH THE SHOW!!

_From Chapter 3; Curses and Blessings_

"That's right, kid. Look, if you need me, preferably for _wishing_, just rub the lamp." With this said, he disappeared into the lamp.

The human boy nodded, making sure the lamp was secure inside the cloak's inner pocket. "Alright, time to get to HQ!" Continuing on his way, he slowed to a stop when he arrived at a grocery store. "Right…running low on groceries…" Giving a small sigh, he entered the store and began moving down the isles.

When he reached the dairy isle, he hurried along and accidentally rubbed against the lamp, thus summoning a rather impatient genie.

"So shopping to get taller, eh?" Envy asked rather smugly, suddenly smirking at the milk.

Just then the grocery store made an announcement that they were having free samples of soy milk. Ed tried passing by the soy milk stand in a hurry, but the person manning the sample station called out to him, "Hey, you there, Mister! Are you the type of person who doesn't like milk?"

Ed slowed down, but didn't completely stop. Instead, he turned his head to look back. "Yes, I am."

The man smiled at him. "Then you have got to try this soy milk. It tastes nothing like milk!"

This time, the short blonde stopped completely. "Really? Well, in that case…" He grabbed a small plastic cup that looked suspiciously like a shot-glass (although this detail has no significance in the story), he started drinking but quickly spat it out on the man's face. The other man wiped the soy milk off his face as the temperamental teen yelled, "It still tastes like milk, you liar!"

Envy, who hadn't disappeared back into the lamp and witnessed the show, smirked as if he wanted to laugh but decided it wasn't quite time to start. "Wow, so the pipsqueak finally decided to drink his milk." He let himself laugh almost the exact moment the teen whipped around with a furious scowl.

"Who you calling pipsqueak you stupid palm tree!" Ed yelled, loudly enough for everyone in the store to hear him.

At that moment, the group of fangirls from the last chapter started walking down the isle.

"Did he just say palm tree!?" asked one of the girls, practically squealing in excitement.

"He did!" confirmed another girl, just as excitedly.

"That must mean our Envy and Ed are here!" stated yet another girl with just as much enthusiasm, starting to look about her surroundings.

All at once they had spotted Ed and Envy and started charging down the isle, all the while screaming, "We love you, Envy! We love you as well, Ed!"

Terror slapped itself onto the blonde boy's face, eyes wide. "Oh, crap! They're here, too!?" He tried to flee from the girls, but they were obviously well experienced in chasing down their obsessions and were closing in on him.

Envy, who was running along side him, after looking over his shoulder stated, "Man, those girls run fast!"

Gold eyes turned toward the genie instantly. "Envy! I wish you would hide me!"

Amethyst eyes turning back toward gold ones, a smirk materialized onto his lips. Snapping his fingers, he used his Ultimate Cosmic Powers to turn Ed into a tub of ice cream and simultaneously used the wish to hide himself, too, even though his temporary master had only wished for himself to be hidden. However, instead of turning himself into something else, he simply made himself invisible.

For some odd reason, they seemed unaware of the sudden disappearances of their favorite Fullmetal Alchemist characters (they probably assumed they had turned into a random isle while they were busy fantasizing) and ran right past them.

"Wow!" said one of the girls after awhile, beginning to slow down. "It's like they disappeared!"

"Wait a minute, girls!" said another one, waving for the others to follow her. "I think I see our Envy!" Pointing toward a palm tree silhouette outside the store door, she ran toward it, leading the horde of fangirls. "Let's go after him before he tries getting away from us!"

Back where the two stars were, Ed's muffled voice could barely be heard commanding, "Now I wish I was back to my normal self!"

Sagging slightly in what could be assumed was disappointment, the genie granted the wish.

"What were you thinking!?" the oh-so-patient alchemist roared, gold eyes glaring daggers at the somewhat taller teen in front of him.

The older male smiled sweetly. "You said you wanted me to hide you. You never specified where or how."

"Grr…! I don't know whether to be mad at you for the way you granted my wish or at myself for not being specific!"

The smile shrank to a smirk without losing its amusement. "Make your life easier by choosing neither, Pipsqueak."

"Grrrrrr!" Ed growled, hands raised as if they were claws about to shred, when the announcements came on the intercom.

"Attention, shoppers! There's a Pipsqueak in the Dairy Isle who thinks he's seeing palm trees. We advise you to take extra caution when going around him. Also, there are crazy, obsessed fangirls who also think they are seeing palm trees and are, currently, hunting down said palm trees. Please be on the lookout for them, and remember to be extra cautious."

"Grrrrrr! _That's it!!_" the cloaked boy fumed, running off the set in a fit of rage.

Both directors straightened in alarm (although they were already looking on intently from the beginning).

"Hey, wait a minute, Ed! What are you doing?" Star asked, loudly enough to be called yelling.

"Get back on the set and do the scene right!" commanded Ninja, standing up from her chair and turning to face the blonde.

"Do the scene right?" Ed started angrily, skidding to a stop to glare at the shorter director. "Those fangirls weren't even supposed to be in there in the first place!"

"We know," Star consoled, gesturing with her hands for him to calm down. "Don't worry, we won't add them into the original story."

"Good." Seemingly to have calmed down, he looked almost placidly at the two directors before adding, "Now, if you'll excuse me, there's something I need to settle." Turning around very calmly, he paused, then abruptly bolted straight for the make-shift announcer's office. Glaring at the man seated there, he growled, "So _you_'re the announcer who called me Pipsqueak!" He grabbed the frightened-looking announcer guy by the front of his shirt.

Star and Ninja both ran into the room at that exact moment, skidding to a stop like professionals in a movie. They yelled in unison as if they had rehearsed over a million times, "Ed! Put the guy down, he's just doing his job!"

"Y-Yeah," stuttered the announcer guy, shaking in Ed's grip. "I-I'm only doing what I'm supposed to be doing…p-please don't hurt me!"

Glaring at the pitiful man for a brief second, he huffed, "Fine." He then threw the announcer dude back into his chair. "Just don't let it happen again."

"Uh…yes, sir!" the announcer replied, saluting the blonde boy stupidly.

"Hold on, Ed." Ninja crept up to the short blonde who was taller than herself, lightly poking his shoulder. "You're not the director here." She almost instantly leapt back like he was about to swing at her, but of course he stayed perfectly still. "He listens to _us_."

"Grr…" Ed growled, clenching his hands into fists as he stormed out of the office. "This is so unfair!"

"Now, Ed," the taller of the directors started, following the sizzling teen to make sure he was heading toward the set instead of…well, somewhere else. "Go back to the grocery scene and do it right."

All he did was sigh and step back onto the set. Envy disappeared back into the lamp and the directors went back to their seats.

–_**a little while later –**_

In the next isle, the cloaked boy noticed some food items he needed (or thought he needed) up on the higher shelves. So he got up to his tippy-toes, trying to reach them. A store worker came by, but because of the warning to be cautious around the Pipsqueak, he didn't bother assisting him and instead continued to walk on by. Getting agitated, he started waving his arms exaggeratedly and again accidentally rubbing the lamp with his cloak. Envy appeared behind the human, who was obviously unaware of what he had done. "Man, I wish I were taller…!"

A cruel smirk instantly materialized onto the genie's lips, knowing that it wasn't really an intended wish but too eager to get the wishes done and over with to care. Snapping his fingers, his young master instantly shot up a few feet…at least enough for his head to crash through the ceiling.

"Whoa!" Rubbing his head, he leaned back and gave the large hole in the ceiling a vaguely bewildered look as he stupidly stated, "I'm touching the ceiling."

"Hey, look at it this way," the now shorter male started, smirking mischievously up at his master once he had gained his attention, "at least you're not a Pipsqueak anymore." He grinned and almost laughed when the blonde made an immediate reaction to the nickname still.

"Who you calling a Pips– Oh, I guess you're right, hahah…"

"Wait a minute…" Star stood up from her seat and walked over. "This isn't right…I thought we were just going to make him two feet taller," she said in a tone that was more like a question, turning back toward her co-director.

"That's right, Star," the darker-clothed female responded, nodding subtly before rising to her feet herself. "Envy, let's try again…and this time, only make him taller by two feet."

Envy smirked at her. "What happens if I don't?"

The lighter-haired brunette answered for her companion. "You'll have to go in there." She pointed toward a nearby door that looked rusty and cracked, with a rotting wooden sign that read TORTURE CHAMBER in all caps.

Amethyst eyes widened as he gave an audible gulp. "Ah…a-alright," he stuttered, raising his hands. "Two feet it is, then."

Star nodded in approval, smiling brightly at him. "Good, good."

"Alright, everyone! Once again," Ninja sighed these two words as if saying them was exasperating, "back in your places." Turning around lazily, she trudged back to her seat and, giving a less-than-courteous twirl, flopped into her director's chair.

Envy returned Ed to his original height (which Ed was oddly grateful for), and everyone resumed positions.

**A/N 2:** Again, I'm so sorry for the lateness! Not to mention Star and I have both forgotten some of the extra funny stuff we had intended to include in our story (oh, did I mention that, not only did I lose internet, but a virus making the computer sick wiped out all of our saved documents?)…so we're in desperate need of reminding (or, for those who have yet to make any suggestions for something funny, now is the perfect opportunity!), so, uh…_give us something funny!_ R&R please!


	5. From Chapter 4: Jokes and Dreams

**A/N:** Again, sorry for lateness. I hope this turns out funny enough…

_From Chapter 4; Jokes and Dreams_

Ed glared at him, hands clenched into fists. "Enjoy the report," he growled as he turned around and, as he stomped out of the room, he tripped on his cloak and fell flat on his face out in the hallway. Of course, the ever-helpful directors were laughing so hard they nearly fell out of their seats.

"Okay," Ninja started, trying to calm down enough to talk, "that was friggin' hilarious."

Turning red, the cloaked alchemist slowly got back to his feet. "Yeah, yeah, hilarious stuff. Now, can we _please_ get back to work?"

Eyes widening, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips, Star leaned toward her partner and giggled not-so-quietly, "OMG, he's blushing!"

"Am not!" the blonde male protested, turning a deeper shade of red.

Curious of the commotion, Envy exited the lamp and took a look around. "What's going on?"

Barely able to contain herself, the dark-clad female blurted rather delightedly, "Ed fell flat on his face!" and both girls busted into more laughter.

Ed looked at the genie, the red deepening further. "Don't. Say. Anything."

The taller male smirked, a sound escaping that indicated a more-than-obvious want to laugh.

"Okay," the shorter of the females started, wiping her eyes and slowly regaining her composure, "Okay… Let's restart this scene."

"Places, everyone!" the taller female commanded, raising her hand and extending a finger as if she were commanding a battalion of soldiers to charge. "Let's get this scene right, this time!"

Obediently, everyone went back to their places.

_**-later-**_

Ed rolled onto his side, pulling the sheets over his shoulder and sighing sleepily. Even though the lights were still on, he evidently didn't care and was already asleep.

Envy stood near the bed, watching the slumbering child contemplatively. Amethyst eyes turned toward the lamp, then toward the clock that read _10:37 p.m._ with boredom. Leisurely strolling over to the bed, he leaned over him to look at his face. In a ghostly whisper, he called, "Edward…"

The boy moaned softly, one of his eyebrows twitching.

In the same haunting tone, but with a lightness that wasn't there before, the genie called again, "Edward…!"

Another soft moan, then nothing.

"Hmm…" Thinking quietly to himself, a small smirk materialized as an idea came into his mind. Quickly, he disappeared from the room, and within a few short minutes he came back in with a can of a certain dessert-topping favored by every prankster. Gently, he sprayed the creamy foam into the sleeping alchemist's open hand, then snuck back out of the room.

Watching all of this happen in silence, the directors exchanged looks.

Envy returned to the room with a feather, though where exactly he managed to find such a feather was undetermined, and, with a wicked grin, gently ticked Ed's cheek.

Moaning softly, the blonde did just what the trick required to be a trick –he slapped at his face, covering it with whipped-cream.

The genie snickered softly, carefully creeping away to hide the feather while the directors leaned forward in anticipation.

The human male shifted slightly, then suddenly bolted out of the bed. "WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME!!??" he screamed, clawing the cream from his face frenziedly.

Both girls laughed hysterically, Ninja purposely falling out of her seat and rolling on the floor merrily.

The taller male re-entered the room just as Ed was wiping the last of the whipped-cream from his face, giggling softly. "What happened, dear Pipsqueak? Did something get onto your face?"

"SHADDUP!!" the alchemist roared, which made everyone laugh even harder. "YOU TWO!!" he yelled, pointing accusingly at the directors.

"What'd we do?" they asked in unison, the shorter of the females propping herself on her elbow to look at the young blonde.

"Make sure this never makes it to the story," he growled threateningly, the fire in his eyes enough to make a charging bull flee with fright.

"Alright, alright, Ed," Star said soothingly, helping her partner up off the floor. "We'll have something else happen."

"Though he still won't like it," the dark-clad female whispered, and both girls snickered quietly to themselves.

"Places, everybody!" Ed yelled, ignoring the sudden startled looks from the directors. "We want to get this scene right, got that? You!" He then pointed at the shape-shifter. "You aren't going to leave this room. You got that?" he added, saying the last part loudly enough for everyone to hear, including the directors.

"Don't worry," the taller female started, smiling brightly, "for this next bit, he won't need to leave the room."

"Good." After having every last trace of the whipped cream removed from his being and cleaned from the set, Ed returned to the bed and laid back down.

"Now…what else do we need to do?" the taller brunette asked the smaller, having reseated herself and her chin propped in her palm, peering over at her partner.

"Heck if I know. You know I lost all our notes, so we're basically doing the rest by scratch." Sighing, she rested her elbows on her knees and cupped her face in both hands. "We need help, or this isn't likely going to finish…"

**A/N 2:** Did you catch that? Because of the stupid virus I had, all our notes were virtually destroyed, we're pretty much out of ideas, and very few of you are helping out! Not to mention, we're getting kinda bored with this, anyway, so if you want to see this continued, we'd appreciate some participation. Please? GIVE US MORE IDEAS!!


End file.
